12/02/2010

Only approximately 42600 Google Hits So Far

Everybody stereotypes, which, given the sparseness of information we actually have about other people, makes a lot of sense, but there are some people who, annoyingly, will take a tiny and very uninformative bit of information about you, such as that you haven't heard about a the recent change in EU fishing laws despite subscribing to a newspaper, and assign you to a certain category, such as the selective reader, and until the day that you die will proceed as though you exhibited whichever characteristics are associated with the stereotype in those persons' minds, with your actual characteristics and behaviour hencetoforth irrelevant to them - they might well present as fact to your mutual boss that you've read only those parts of the very important report he asked you to divulge that you found interesting, despite having no true information about your behaviour in question whatsoever. Let's call them the stereotypists. They're easily identified because when they finally have had the revelation about your proper place in their mental universe, they will loudly blurt it out - "You're a selective reader!" (as though they had just come up with the solution to a decades-old mathematical problem our discovered you're actually George Clooney), speaking even more loudly (though not hearing it) not so much of their limited information-processing capacities as of a more general simplemindedness. When dealing with such people, it is safe to assume they won't understand nuance - always go for the simple, cut-out explanation; when buying them birthday presents, at all costs avoid anything custom-made and go for the industry standard. If you find yourself in an elevator with them, you can always discuss whichever TV series is most popular right now, and if you're not informed about the latest developments in CSI Miami, just throw them a few phrases - "You know, I find it really thrilling, you know? And funny. And isn't it fascinating, science, catching all those murderers?" You'll invariably find they'll agree with you and proceed to provide shitloads of examples about how you're right, speeding off on a scooter made of their own blathering into a universe of ignorance and slogans from the ads. Best to avoid them altogether. Think about it: A scooter. In an elevator. It's rather likely you'll get hit.

No comments: