My In-Depth Analysis of the UK Elections

As things stand right now, it appears Britain is facing a so-called "hung parliament" in which no party has the majority of the seats, which already has commenters screeching in horror like little girls despite other countries' experiences showing that between-party coalitions are nothing to be afraid of.

Just when I had managed to stop contemplating whether you could now call either Gordon Brown or David Cameron a "hung Prime Minister" or whether there had ever been an adult movie called Hung Parliament, I came across the following in the Guardian:

The Conservatives' mission to "castrate the Labour party" by removing Ed Balls from his seat failed shortly before dawn, as the schools secretary held onto his seat with a margin of just over 1,000 votes.

[...]

Ed Balls polled 18,365 votes while Antony Calvert for the Conservatives polled 17,264.

[...]

Calvert described [his campaign] as "operation castration" - a mission replete with clunky innuendo, aiming, he said, to ensure that Brown lost his Balls.

The Tories. If they didn't extist already, you'd have to invent them. As a matter of serious analysis, though: Could it be that Calvert would easily have won the district if he hadn't exhibited the mindset of a twelve-year-old boy?